Four Week Countdown

14/09/2011

So im still on it but have been off the wagon.
Week 1 from 2nd to 7th was perfect - I got into the rhythm and was on my goal of 1 kg by end of the week.

Then went to mumbai and Pune from 7th to the 10th and then did TKs brunch on the 11th...
So where are we now - I have to say, that while im scared to weigh myself Im back to square 1.

So here's what hapenned - lets analyse.
In watching every day for the first week and lose 1 kg as planned.
Next week in mumbai : breakfast is a weakness so I do the whole hog - Dosa's a couple, eggs, bacon, juice, fruits. but still manage by lunch and dinners
Then Pune happens and flight - here is where I lose track a bit.
And then get invited for TKs - where I lose it completely and despite not having breakfast or dinner that day - Im still up.

Net effect : 74.1 goes down to 73.2 by the 7th
From teh 7th to the 10th : I track to keep it at 73.2 - 73.5 and then on sunday I get back to where I was.

So net effect two weeks of work and im at the same place.
Today is 14th and my goal till the 15th was 72.1 and now ill be happy if im back to 73.1.

And some more excellent news I have to travel again on 15th for 3 days to Mumbai / Pune...Heaven help me now !!

If i dont get it right when i travel there is no point.

Even if something is amazing or free it doesnt mean that I need to have it all. I have to be responsible for my goal if i really want to get into the tt outfit.

Plus now as I get older I have to watch my health..

15th : 73.5
22nd : 72
21st : 71

Four Week Countdown

4th September, 2011

So im still on it - Im proud to say.

Ive done my own calculations and worked out my own plan basis what I need and what I want.
I have the B/f, Lunch, dinner and even two inbetweens right on track, its just that havent been able to nix the nightly cravings. Plus I havent tested my resistance much - as I havent travelled, eated out much since I started in Thursday.

But the good news is that Yesterday which was mid- first week I was down to 73.6, which is half a kg.

My plan is  to be down between 0.75 to 1 kg every week, and I want to only plan to do that because alll my silly plans of losimg two kgs evry 5/7 days have not worked infact im exactly where I started.
The only thing I need to be aware of and keep in mind is that it will take one day to spoil it - maybe even one of the kind of meals I have with some friends, or one travel trip, or one binge spree...

But i have to keep at it and make sure I get to my goals which are :

October 3rd     : 70 - 71
November 3rd : 67 - 68
December 3rd : 64 - 65

And this year on my birthday the long held dream of 28 " levi's is going to happen (actually its 26 but new leaf is about being practical !!)

The Four Week Countdown Diet

Ummm - its difficult to say the diet word again, because no one takes me seriously.
But I do - and I havent given up yet.

So here are the goals - and this time Im keeping realistic goals..

Starting Point : 2nd September, 2011 : 74.1
Will do this in 3 steps
Upto 2nd October, 2011 : 71
Upto 2nd November, 2011 : 68
Upto 2nd December, 2011 : 65

Im following the 4 week countdown and today was Day 1.

So it all started really well, with the right amount of water in the morning, breakfast and the mid morning snack and the lunch. Its after lunch : that I cheated - 3 portions of home made namkeen. I really didnt need this and then one icecream that sis-in-law got for me.
Now to make up for it my dinner will be veggies and 1 roti and curd.

But the notings and then analysing is a good way to see what I think I do and what I really do...     

So when the break hap the first time - I was angry as i was waiting for something and it wasnt happening and I gave way to the urge without thinking, Next time I shd breathe deeply and think.

And second again - when Kits got the icecream - I just had it, thinking that I have no other choice.

I dont know how to say NO and will power is negligible. I need to say NO.

Remember - next time - count to 10 and ask do you really want to have this ?? If Im dying without it then fine - else best to resisit temptation. And my weak time - ie bed time is still left - Let see how I do,

Get what you want without wanting it

As this is a love-life blog - pretty much everything is going to be about that :

So, there is a particular pattern that every couple gets into when the fight, and they fight about the same thing, and its gets resolved the same way !!

So for us - its like I find out something that SB has done and he has not told me or has lied about.
Earlier I used to look for things so I would find them - and think that if he hasnt told me its because he is hiding something big. So for example if its about a trip he made - and turned out he forgot to mention who he was with - then clearly he had smething to hide. Many fights later after hurting myself more and that fact that we are still together I would find that it wasnt as bas as I thought it was. He just hid from me what he thought I would make an issue about, or what I wouldnt like it...because the option of not doing it was'nt really a possibility..

So the pattern was : I found out, jumped to a certain conclusion, confronted him directly - hurled accusations at him, screamed and yelled, called him names. His response - he would switch off - sometimes the phone as well and refuse to communicate. the more he did that the more I had to speak to him then itself. lots of tears, lots of sleepless nights, lots of stress - complete distraction from work, and lots of pain.
Then I would finally stop chasing him, and the minute I relaxed - he would call. Then I would start managing what I said to not get him upset - then we would try and speak about the issue - lead to more emotional turmoil - and then finally he would say it was not working out.
Then in a couple of days - couple of terrible days averaging 200 sms each till the fingers hurt : we would tell each other that we loved each other so much and find a way out of the fight -

The issue would be ignored and left to him to ensure it doesnt happen again - unless it would !

So the last almost 5 years is strewn with these phases which take atleast a month or so to get over !

So this time around - yes unfortunately this time happened !! though after a long long break.

SO I found something quite accidently, and this is quite serious a few days ago. At a time when he really needed to be with me - he was not and evidence that csam my way shows - in a group that included soem people that according to him he's not been in touch for a long time.

SO this time what did I do - I called him and told him we needed to speak.
Then i confronted him with it - told him this was a blow to me, and i could nt take it and that its over - yes this time its me who called it off ! (sometimes I think I want to get back to him for all the times he did) and then put the hone down.
He sent messages asking me to reconsider !! Please - which is not something taht comes to him naturally - which I ignored compeletely - bec for me thsi was so over thatr day.
then morning came - and I started thinking - that I again have jumped to conclusions and mid afternoonish messaged him. ANd thats when he sent many saying he was so hurt and how much he loved me and all. And iw as like - hey what happened here - he hurt ?? because I found out ?/
And then we spent a day or so exchanging messages. But this time I was already in a - I will forgive him phase - so lets work it out. And yesterday we made headway - I got what I wanted - him calling me, being nice to him.

And what did I need to do - just be sweet to him, and not confront him, and not feel bad about what he had done and just not be angry !! And when I did what he wanted - I got what I wanted from him !!

Then sometime last night anger happened and I sent him a spate of hateful messages - and what did I get !!
No call, as promised earlier - but a spate of Im confused, I love you but how can this be so hard !!

And sunday 12 pm and no call..
There is nothing I wrote to him last night that was wrong - because I am in teh right.
But what I say fades away, under how nad when I said it.
He said he will talk to me - give him a few days !! And I didnt - give him,a nd guess what I didnt get !!

Thats the thing - easy as it sounds its the toughest thing - Thats why its the SECRET !!
We all know the secret but its impossible for us mere mortals to practice....thats why hhappiness alludes us.

So now today - when i finally get the call - I will practice this and report successs !!
I really do want what I want so let me then do what it takes to make it happen, instead of doing what it takes to make it NOT happen.................

Who said being SMART was easy

Love story

So this morning I read about the Willaim and Kate turmultous love story and felt motivated - I have hope still.

So they met like 7-8 years ago ( im really not a great fan and cant get the fuss - so a bit fuzzy about details )..he apparently sees her walking the ramp - and having a prince interested in you has to be something else - so she reciprocates.
And then starts a long series of its on and its off...
But guess what - everytime its off- its because HIS HIGNESS is with someone else !!
So she waits - not like a couch potato, like some people I know - but toning herself and partyinga round - but waiting nonetheless.
So she waits and waits while her prince charming is working his charms off on other people ...and well finally gets that she is the one for him...and 7-8 years later BANG comes the proposal !!

So is that a SmartGirl ?
If you asked me a few years ago - Id say loser. How can she forgive him and get back when he clearly cheated on her. A smart girl wouldnt wait - would give it off and never see him again. And find some other man (not a prince though) to charm her and settle in obscure hapiness.

But now Im thinking - hey thats not Smart !! Guess who it doesnt work for - HERSELF !!

So the smartgirl - while really waiting - sends the right signals out !! See im so hot and you dont know what youre missing - still is never seen with anyone specific person anyone can say she is with - and lo behold a few flings later Prince is back/
She's having a dream wedding of the Decade if you please..looking extremely happy and guess what has bagged her MAN..
Now thats smart !!
So what if you are with someone who broke your heart, was not sure about you, dated multiple women after you...but he's back now and you have your whole life ahead !! And he loves you or maybe not - time will tell, and frankly me dear - Who gives a damn !!

Its the lot of this stock i guess - hang around while the guy makes all the mistakes, look the other way when he is doing things he shouldnt, forgive him if he hurts you - because guess what - he's always coming back to you.

But like I said - im having thoughts that I havent got it right !! This is the smartgirl way - if you want to be married (pls note lack of using the word HAPPILY) you just wait for your man to grow up, because when he does - he will come back to his true love - till then let him have a helluva good time !!

Not so Smart

So turns out not so smart as things go !!

So this is like a chic-blog ! You wanna get inside the confused mind of a girl/women - youll find your answers here...
Have been meaning to do this for some time (a few years) and finally got down to it today -
So this will be lika dairy - out there, heart felt : no holds barred...but with a specific objective which is to anchor myself in life (high time wd be mom's reaction)

So im going to right thru this not so easy phase (did say ill call a spade a spade) and Ill try and do it as regularly as possible !!

So now that the objective and the task is set (like a smart girl with goals) lets start !

So sometimes in the last  couple of years and I am going to hit the big O soon : I have been thinking that maybe I havent been as smart as i thought i was. Have always been ultra clear about what I want or more accurately what I dont : but in the last year os so ive been thinking - did I get it right or missed the point of life ?
Did i make the right choices or was it stupid and frankly (now that ive given my word for a no-holds barred) recently have started believing the latter more and more inwardly - but if anyone has to have a discussion can support all my choices, justified and win on the reasons why what I did was the smart thing and what I wanted...but a few knocks and life has a way of making you think.

So well - lets just say, if I didnt make the choices that I did, I wont have what I do - but if i made different choices I might have had what I dont ! And right now - I really want what I dont have .
Which is an anchor : so whats the anchor : well 1 man and a family of my own, and to be honest a lot of things that I never wanted when I was younger - infact was clear I did not..
But now I feel ready  to be with one person and make it work. Infact I think its quite a beautiful prospect...but unfortunately its something thats dodging me ..

yeah yeah - Its about a man (did warn this was a chic blog !)

So NO : im not looking for a man !! Thankfully have one that i love, and who loves me : now for 5 years almost !! Just now want to be married : and guess what : he wants it to - but doesnt do anything about it to make it happen.
So thats the crux - to de-tangle confusion in my mind and find my way !!
And then there is the rest of it : you know finding more success at work - and frankly I do quite well professionaly - but a bot of a stagnant spot these days so I have to find my way thru that !!
And lose weight !! lots of it : look hot too - but so much hotter if I lost more !!

SO great : have a good feeling about this !! Wish me luck - will be good and bad days but more good I hope and making my wishes come true - cant be so tough, now can it....DId call myself a smart girl - and surely she make what she wants happen !! At the very least ---